There are many situations in life, especially those concerning relationships with others, where there is a desire to end patterns of feeling and behavior that have been longstanding but that do not contribute to our well being. Often, the way to end these patterns seems elusive.
The situation can be difficult, both spiritually, emotionally, and physically. For years of living with fear or other intense emotions and the stress this creates can take their toll and establish energetic circuits within the brain and body that constitute the basis for post-traumatic stress. This is a condition which activates the same physical and emotional responses in a person, even when the stressor is no longer present.
In relation to extricating oneself from such longstanding patterns of engagement with another, whether a parent, child, friend, or partner, what is most important to recognize is that inner conditions of feeling and consciousness determine the outer. We are forever and at all times creating our own reality. Therefore, if one were able to change the inner conditions of emotion and reaction that have played themselves out for a very long time, the outer conditions would also change.
Intense emotions and the recurrent behaviors they lead to often have deep roots, not only when specific traumatic circumstances that we recognize have taken place and left an indelible imprint on our hearts, but also when such emotions or behaviors have played a part in our soul's history in other lifetimes, constituting a major emotional thread that binds us together with others - the victim to the oppressor, the oppressor to the victim; the rejected to the rejector, and visa versa. Often, in the course of successive lifetimes, souls have experiences with being on both sides of an equation, sometimes more on one side, sometimes more on the other.
For many reasons, then, intense emotions that repeat in the context of relationship or in response to specific types of situations can become deeply ingrained in the circuitry of the body and psyche so that they keep circulating through the emotional and spiritual bloodstream, and so they continue to act as a catalyzing force in the shaping of external reality.
What may influence this picture in a different direction? That which overcomes all negative emotion, creating a sense of peace, light, and of God's presence. These inner conditions need to be strong enough to form the basis for a new identity and a new identification so that when the situation of the past seems present, a new set of responses can be evoked. For this to happen when there has not been a great deal of trauma in the past is easier than when there has. Post-traumatic stress creates difficulty in establishing and maintaining new responses because of the internal 'wiring' that has already taken place, and so it becomes even more important where this is true, to find ways of anchoring oneself strongly in a place of light.
Energetic changes of a more deliberate kind may be needed for this purpose - a change in those whom one associates with in order to reinforce the presence of light; the commitment to a spiritual practice that can bring light into the body; a change in diet so that the body can let go more easily of former energetic patterns it has been holding onto; and sometimes a cleansing diet, repeated periodically, so that the cells and tissues can free themselves more effectively from the emotional and physical toxins that they have been carrying.
It is understandable to be distressed by the difficulty of overcoming what has happened in the past that now lives within our body. Nevertheless, it is possible to do so by working toward shifting our identity to a different foundation so that we no longer identify with the events of the past, but have a new focus and a new orientation within ourselves and with God. Increasing light on the Earth at this time will help this process along, but patience is also needed.
Intense emotions and the circumstances which created them often come into this lifetime with an incarnating soul, allowing one to learn from them the lessons of life and love. What these lessons are will vary from person to person, but they are always present, even during the most painful of times. Frequently, the learning has to do with the strengthening of an inner sense of self that experiences wholeness within the self rather than seeking it without, this being the cause of many dysfunctional relationships. When this is the case, what is needed is the seeking, in all ways available, of the strengthening of oneself and the cleansing of one's emotional and physical body so that it can carry more light and so that new energetic configurations can result. There are forms of energetic healing that will help with this, and there is also often a need to change one's diet so that it supports holding greater light in the body.
In the new place of identity, instead of feeling reactive and helpless in the face of repeating patterns, one begins to feel whole, and instead of feeling at the mercy of overpowering currents that sweep through one's life, one begins to stand with God at the center, able to feel a unity of wholeness in all parts.
For more on this topic, see the Sacred Consciousness of Food.